As the temperatures drop, we often think of safety in the winter months. It is a good idea to prepare in advance for a winter weather emergency. www.ready.gov will give you great ideas about how to buildemergencykits for your home and car. In my professional life I drive a lot and always keep what refer to as the "get stuck in the snow kit" in the trunk of my car. Here is a list of things you might want to consider putting in a tote for an emergency. Jumper cables

• Flashlights and extra batteries
• First aid kit and necessary medications in case you are away from home for a prolonged time
• Food items containing protein such as nuts and energy bars; canned fruit and a portable can opener
• Water for each person and pet in your car
• AM/FM radio to listen to traffic reports and emergency messages
• Cat litter or sand for better tire traction
• Shovel
• Ice scraper
• Warm clothes, gloves, hat, sturdy boots, jacket and an extra change of clothes
• Blankets or sleeping bags

Also consider:

• A fully-charged cell phone and phone charger
• Flares or reflective triangle
• Baby formula and diapers if you have a small child
• Tin coffee can (the purpose is that you place cat litter in the bottom of the can to hold a candle–the candle then heats the can and is a way to stay warm-as always, practice safety with an open flame)
• Plastic bags–these are needed in the event that you need to use the restroom. They provide aplace to go and then you can put them outside your vehicle if you are stuck in the snow for an extended period of time.
• Coloring books, crayons or other small gamesfor small children
• Hand and foot warmers–the little packets you can buy just about everywhere now
• Towels and wet wipes

Being prepared could save your life in an emergency. Happy and safe winter travels!

As your family gathers during the holidays, or any time of year, it is a good time to pass on some family memories. One of the ways that we establish a family culture is by creating shared rituals and stories–things that get passed from one generation to another. So here are a few questions you might want to talk about with one another this year...

• Tell a family nickname that you had and how you got it.
• What was the naughtiest or meanest thing you remember doing in school? What were the consequences?
• Tell about some good advice your mother gave you.
• Did you ever make a New Year's resolution as a youth?

Try jotting these questions and their answers down and perhaps you can put them into a booklet to share with other family members.  It will likely become a cherished treasure.

The holiday season often presents a frenzied challenge for families with children. It often means running from one house to the next to participate in family events, purchasing the latest and greatest gifts, sending out cards or notes, and eating all sorts of food.

Young children often become stressed as a result of being overstimulated by all the sights, sounds, smells and people they experience. Many families end up proclaiming that they do not enjoy the holidays and can't wait for them to be over. Couple all of this with the commercialization of the season and the right atmosphere has been created for families to become frustrated.

Jo Robinson and Jean Coppock-Staeheli, authors of Unplug the Christmas Machine, urge families to escape the stress of the season and create a more joyful time for families. One of the chapters is titled "The Four Things Children Really Want for Christmas."

In this chapter the authors write, "One concern voiced by most parents is that of shielding their children from the excesses of holiday commercialism. While adults can mute the TV when the ads get annoying, children are defenseless against the onslaught of ads. As early as the age of four or five, they can lose the ability to be delighted by the sights and sounds of Christmas, only to gain a two-month-long obsession with brand-name toys. Suddenly, all they seem to care about is how many presents they will be getting and how many days are left until they unwrap them."

Many families struggle with slowing down the pace of life at this time of year (and others too.) But the task might become easier if we think about the four things children really want for Christmas.

Robinson and Staeheli argue that children don't really want clothes, toys, and games for Christmas. The four things they actually want are:

1. A relaxed and loving time with the family. Children prefer to be in their own homes in a relaxed atmosphere with their families. Many normal family routines are upset during the holiday season. It's important to slow down and spend quality time with your kids.
2. Realistic expectations about gifts. Kids enjoy looking forward to gifts and then having their expectations met. The key is to manage their expectations. For instance, you might want to explain to your children that advertisers really want you to buy their products even if you don't need them.
3. An evenly paced holiday season. The key is to remember that the holidays are a season! We don't have to visit everyone and do everything in one day. You may want to spread your family visits out from a few days prior to Christmas to after New Year's Day.
4. Reliable family traditions. We typically remember the things we did as a family during the holidays, not the gifts we received. So this year, start or renew a family tradition. It might be driving around to look at Christmas lights, baking cookies for a neighbor, caroling, or trimming the tree with homemade decorations. Children will likely remember the traditions, not the gifts.

So this year, try to Unplug your holiday season, slow down the pace of your life and enjoy your family a bit more.

Family mealtimes are powerful experiences and we may not even realize the impact they have on us. Think for a moment about the mealtimes that you remember most...what made them so memorable? Perhaps your mouth begins to water as you think about the delicious roast that was prepared for a Sunday dinner or maybe you smile as you remember the funny stories that were told around the table. Maybe you just remember the sense of security you had as a child with the entire family gathered together.

Families frequently gather during the holiday season for a meal with extended families and they may not realize that they are creating a powerful ritual for young and old alike. Mealtimes are an opportunity to shape your family culture and identity, develop respect between the generations, and encourage positive communication skills. While reaping these benefits can happen at times other than family meals, mealtimes are a natural time to deliberately encourage family communication, respect, and identity. After all, everyone has to eat.

Sharing intergenerational mealtimes can be mutually beneficial for all generations. Children feel important and have a sense of belonging when adults other than their parents care about what is important to them. Grandparents say spending time with young people keeps them young and gives them an opportunity to pass on family values and traditions.

When gathering your family, small or large, the following communication tips can help keep conversations positive and helpful during mealtimes.

• Pay attention to what is being said, even if it seems trivial. You will seem interested and improve your relationship with the other person at the same time.
• Remove distractions. Turn off the television, lay down the newspaper and make eye contact with the speaker.
• Listen to the other person and comment on what is being said.
• Give the speaker a chance to finish their comment before responding.
• Accept what is being said - even if you don't agree. Accepting the person does not mean that you accept the idea.

While it would be nice if communication went well everytime we attempted it, sometimes we make mistakes. The following suggestions may be helpful when conflicts arise:

• Stay calm and try not to get too emotional. Keep your voice even and steady.
• Stick to the subject. It might be tempting to bring up everything that has happened in the past but resist that temptation. Comment about the issue not the person. Regardless of the situation, refrain from blaming, shaming, or name calling.
• Talk about your own feelings. When stating a different opinion, speak with "I" not "you." For example, "I don't see it that way," rather than "you are wrong."

The holidays present a great opportunity to gather your family together, but to reap the full benefits we suggest families gather several times a week for regular meals.

How do you find your "get up and go" if it's already got up and went? Stop procrastinating, don't be a perfectionist, and fight pessimism!

If you're struggling with low motivation, plan to attend the workshop "Finding Your Get up and Go" on Friday, November 18 at the Rock Island County office in Milan. Call 309-756-9978 to pre-register. For other dates and locations, contact U of I Extension.

When I was a lot younger, several seniors told me that life goes by faster as you get older. They also said that when your body wants to slow down, you just have to keep going–the day you stop, you're done.

Staying physically, mentally and socially active prolongs and enhances your quality of life and helps you age healthfully.

Motivation level ebbs and flows throughout our lives. There are ways to raise your motivation, but first you need to understand why it's low to begin with.  One contributing factor to low motivation is procrastination, or putting things off.

If you're putting off a project because it's too overwhelming, break it into smaller tasks so that it's more manageable. Then tell someone about your goals so you'll have to be accountable, and set a deadline to increase the chance that you'll get the project done on time.

If it's a job that must be done but is not enjoyable and you'd rather be doing anything else, give yourself positive pep talks to move yourself along.

Conquer perfectionism–or your fear that you'll fail by not being able to do the job right–by diving in and getting started.

"Perfectionists spend too much time and energy on the details of a project and then get bored trying to complete it. On the positive side, a moderate amount of perfectionism contributes to the pursuit of excellence and can motivate people to strive for their goal. Try to keep your perfectionistic tendencies under control," she advised.

Pessimistic persons, who blame themselves when things go wrong, are less likely to take risks and thus become less productive, she said.

Pessimists should consciously challenge their negative thinking patterns with optimistic thoughts. Listen to your negative self-talk and become aware of how it influences your choices and interferes with your efforts to change.

Be proud of the positive changes you are making, no matter how small, she said.

University of Illinois Extension is committed to providing residents in Henry, Mercer, Rock Island and Stark counties with high quality education services and programs focusing on agriculture, parenting, community development, horticulture and youth development. To learn more call (309) 756-9978 or visit us on the web at http://web.extension.illinois.edu/hmrs/.

Allow me to introduce myself to you properly: I am Janice McCoy and I serve as a Family Life Educator with University of Illinois Extension. Currently I serve seven counties in Northwestern Illinois, including Carroll, Henry, Lee, Mercer, Rock Island, Stark and Whiteside. My focus is on parenting, managing the stress of work and life, aging, adult life and caregiving issues. I am here to help you with educational programs on any of these topics and am excited about an expanded territory. Now for the topic at hand...

Just this past week a severe storm moved through my neighborhood. We lost a beautiful 50 year old maple tree that provided our entire backyard with shade. Luckily it came down in a perfect "L" at the corner of our house and we had minimal damage. It was however, quite a jolt at 6:30 am. Because of these severe storms our entire neighborhood was without power for nearly fourteen hours. When things like this happen in communities it is always amazing how quickly people come together to help one another.

By 7 am our neighbors had come to ask if everyone was all right! By about 1pm people began to gather in our front yard--mostly just because they were curious about our tree and wanted to make sure it wasn't poking through the roof of our bedroom. With nothing to do, or so it seemed without electricity, young children in the neighborhood started to play in the front yard and enjoyed each others company. The adults engaged in lengthy conversation that the normal wave and hello doesn't offer on a regular day. By about 5 pm the grill was ready and food was served--outside picnic style. Much of the conversation was about how "we should do this more often."

This is really a good commentary on how families live today. We are very busy and seldom slow down until we are forced to, by mother nature in this case. Dr. Bill Doherty, a noted family researcher has written an excellent book on this topic called "Putting Family First." In his book he describes the escalated pace at which American families live their lives and gives some great suggestions about how to slow down and enjoy one another. The book is worth the read!

Our yard is slowly getting put back together--the tree has been removed, the fence and gutters will be repaired and we will plant a new tree (or two.) Hopefully, the next neighborhood picnic will not have to happen because of a power outage. Maybe we will commit to regular neighborhood picnics that will strengthen our friendships and build a sense of commitment to the community.